How To Shift When You Don’t Want To Be Thankful

In the USA, we recently celebrated Thanksgiving. To be honest, I have many mixed emotions when it comes to this celebratory traditional holiday. But we’ll save that for a different time and different place.

But you know those moments when you’re sad, depressed, angry, or annoyed and you just don’t want to be thankful? We’ve all been there at some point, right?

For me, it’s when I’m at a big group event and I feel trapped like I can’t go home or find a spot to be in silence with myself. #introvertproblems

First, let me say that there is nothing wrong with being in that headspace. If you want to feel a certain emotion when other people are telling you that you should be thankful, feel whatever you want.

But if you notice the negative emotion, acknowledge it, and have a desire to shift or transform it into gratitude or thankfulness, it’s totally an option. You don’t have to stay where you are currently at.

How to Start Shifting

Don’t Resist Negative Emotion

The trick to making the shift is not rejecting your current negative emotion. Sit with it. Allow it to just be there with you like another passenger on a bus. Get curious. Emotions are just vibrations in the body created because of a sentence in our mind. Emotions = Information.

If you try to thought-swap (swapping a negative thought and emotion with a positive one), the negative one will win. What we resist, persists. If you can’t learn to notice, acknowledge, and allow a negative emotion, you won’t get the results you want. You and your brain are too smart to make the jump from “I hate this” to “I love this”.

You don’t need to make a grand gesture or feel immense gratitude. Start small.

Actionable Items to Help You Make The Shift

  • Find one thing (wherever you are) that you find pretty or appealing
  • Give someone a compliment (but be genuine though)
  • Answer this question about yourself: “What small thing are you proud of?” (it could even be as simple getting out of bed because you didn’t want to, or even asking yourself this question!)
  • Do something you enjoy–listen to music, eat a treat and focus on how much you love the taste, etc.

Making Gratitude a Daily Practice

If you want to have an overall better quality of life, having some kind of daily gratitude practice is a fantastic starting point! The list above and the list below are only a few things you could do, so get creative and find what works for you.

  • Start a gratitude journal–it doesn’t matter if you write a page or a few bullet points
  • Get outside everyday and appreciate the nature that is around you
  • Practice mindfulness–I love to do this in the shower, brushing my teeth, and even cooking
  • Create the habit of waving to people and cars you passby in the neighborhood
  • Give a genuine compliment a day
  • Send a thank you card or text message to someone who’s made an impact in your life (whether recent or not)

The Hard Truth

Some days, practicing gratitude can be difficult. Some days are easier than others. Some feel like the world has gone to hell. This is how life is supposed to be. You can’t control everything and everyone around you, but you can control yourself.

Be okay with flowing between the good and the bad. Practice gratitude, and make it easy on yourself instead of a chore you have to do. If you miss a day, a week, a month…not a big deal! Just pick it up again. You didn’t fail. You didn’t do it wrong. You just went with the flow of life.

If it starts to get overwhelming, scale back. What would make practicing gratitude easier for you? What would make it a fun or enjoyable experience?

Take It To The Next Level

If you want to take this to the next level, come join me as I co-facilitate a new 6-week course called (Sub)conscious Confidence. We teach you how your subconscious and conscious mind interact and how you can hack it so they work for you instead of again you–like you’ve unconsciously programmed them to do!

We’ll give you the knowledge, tools, AND practical application so you walk away with transformation. We value this course at $3,000; but because it’s our second round and we want to teach as many people as possible, we’re giving it out for only $300!

Check out CoachWithCam.com/upcomingevents to get more details, watch some video testimonials, and register. We begin on December 7th, so don’t wait too long!

What do freezing temps and introverts have in common?

This past week in Utah has been COLD.

It got down to freezing temperature.

What do people who are cold do?

Put on a ton of layers, wrap themselves tight in the warmest blanket they can find, and get into their comfort zone.

From a psychological level, all humans gravitate towards our comfort zones.

Why?

Well, there is a part of your brain that has three sole functions:
1. Avoid Pain/Discomfort
2. Seek Pleasure
3. Conserve Energy/Be Efficient

So when it’s cold or we are in any kind of physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual discomfort, our brain guides us to find comfort; which we find pleasurable (or at least more so than discomfort), and conserves energy by being efficient and doing the easiest thing possible.

This is why we tend to stay within our comfort zones.

If you have a human brain, you do this. However, a lot of introverts do this on a hyper level.

There are a ton of different kinds of introverts with different personality traits and different ways of processing. However, a lot of introverts tend to process thoughts and emotions internally vs externally. Again, not all, but a lot.

As an internal processing introvert, I wrap myself up in layers and layers of comfort zone. Can you relate?

There is a time and place for this, for sure.

However, this can also be to our detriment.

We stop trying new things. We stop connecting with people. We stop exploring everything the world has to offer us.

Here is my challenge to you: Consciously choose to take a step outside your comfort zone every day. It doesn’t need to be big, but it should feel different and slightly uncomfortable. By doing this, you’re stepping into your growth zone–and this is where MAGIC HAPPENS!


If you want support in expanding your comfort and growth zones with less self-judgment and doubt, schedule your free session with me and let’s start on this exciting journey of learning to love, trust, and value yourself while also stretching yourself in a world geared towards extroverts.