The last two weeks have been absolutely ridiculous! Hilariously miserable AND extremely insightful and interesting.
Blake (my husband) and I do a version of “dry January” where we eliminate our usual vices. In addition to that this year, we also started using a meal service to help us eat healthier (because “ew, vegetables”).
Without any vices (including my comfort foods), I have been moody AF. And Blake has been more irritable as well.
We’re not ones to fight or argue, but when we have snipped at each other, it’s been so interesting to then step back and observe what just happened–some of the things we say, we don’t even really mean. Then we point out our awareness and end up having a laugh.
It’s funny to me because the thought that keeps tumbling through my head is “I DON’T HAVE ANY WAY TO GET PLEASURE!”
Clearly, this is not true.
But going vice-free has really challenged me to evaluate where I am going to get my dopamine fix.
[For those that don’t know, dopamine is known as the “pleasure chemical.”]
I unconsciously started to shop and justify it because it’s all stuff to redecorate my office or make our home more comfortable.
I wish you could have seen my face when I realized that I’ve been online shopping so much the last two weeks because I was unconsciously looking for my next dopamine hit.
But this is what we do. This is what makes goals so difficult to achieve.
The desire to avoid change by changing how we avoid.
Imagining your future self after you’ve accomplished the goal is easy–life will just magically be better!
But that’s not how it works.
In order to make a change, we have to confront our discomfort and trudge through all the sh*tty emotions that come along with being uncomfortable.
This is the reason people quit–they don’t like being uncomfortable.
A leader in my corporate career used to say “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” and damn was she right!
If you’re working on a goal and you’re losing motivation, bring some awareness around where you are getting your dopamine hits from.
Start to notice when you are uncomfortable and want to get rid of the feeling, but instead drop into your body.
What part of your body are you drawn to? How does the vibration of discomfort feel in your body?
Truly just allow it to exist without trying to fix it or make it go away. You’ll be surprised at how the intensity starts to lesson when you start to focus on how it feels in your body.