Goal Setting for HSPs looks different than what you’re probably used to…
As we step into 2024, I’ve been reflecting on the goals many people set during this time and I have something important to share with you.
I found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed on January 2nd after spending the day coaching individuals on their aspirations for the year.
Through these conversations, I could tell the likelihood of which aspirations would become achieved goals and which ones would remain aspirational dreams.
There’s a powerful distinction between two approaches to goal-setting: what I like to call “hard goals” and “soft goals.”
Hard vs Soft Goals
Hard Goals
Hard goals are the ones that often lead to overwhelm and self-doubt. They’re set in a traditional way, with an end goal, a timestamp, meticulously broken-down tasks, and a relentless push for scheduled consistency. For highly sensitive people like us, this approach can sometimes leave us in self-shaming mode, inadequacy, and without any accomplishment.
Soft Goals
On the flip side, soft goals focus on making small, sustainable changes to your lifestyle and being. They have a conceptual destination point, but the journey is flexible, full of play, and marked by curious experimentation. When HSPs set soft goals, they align more with our sensitive nature and the ebb and flow of our non-consistent energy.
How can I make my the shift?
So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of goal-setting conversations or questioning whether you can achieve what you’ve set out to do, consider transforming your goals into softer, more HSP-friendly ones–here’s how:
1 | Slow Down
I know you want to do all the things, and the urge is strong. You will get there—just not all at once. One small thing at a time. How can you be more mindful about the one thing you are working on right now?
2 | Know YOUR Why
If your initial why sounds generic or borrowed from someone else, dig a little deeper and make it personal and magically your own. What’s the unique benefit to you?
For example, “To be healthier” could transform into “to go on hikes with my husband as we age” or “be more flexible and more embodied when having s∃x.”
3 | Align Your Nervous System
Check in with your body to make sure it all aligns with where you are currently at. When you think about the goal and the experimental steps, does it feel playful and exciting? It’s okay if there is still doubt, but it should be less intense than the other two emotions.
4 | Get Support
Whether it’s working with me, another coach, a therapist, or even just lunch dates with your friends, get someone to talk through challenges, disappointments, wins, and successes with.
If you’re ready to learn how to thrive as an HSP and accomplish your goals, come work with me! You’ll get an entire library of videos, weekly workbooks, and 1:1 special attention.