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May is Mental Health Awareness Month! So what better time to talk about being sensitive and how it impacts our mental health?
The first thing we need to do is understand our own sensitivity. Understanding sensitivity isn’t just about knowing ourselves better; it’s also a crucial aspect of mental health. By recognizing the signs of overwhelm and stress, we can take proactive steps toward better managing our mental well-being.
What does it mean to be Highly Sensitive?
So first, let’s talk about the traits that are present for the majority of highly sensitive people. This is best explained by the mother of HSP Psychological Research, Dr. Elaine Aaron using the acronym D.O.E.S. or DOES:
- Depth of Processing
- Over Stimulation
- Emotional Responsiveness
- Sensitivity to Subtleties
Depth of Processing
Depth of Processing is something I talk a lot about. This is how deeply we think and feel about things. While one person sees a tree in a forest, we see the tree in the forest and all the patterns in the bark, the leaves that have fallen, the holes in the canopy, the overlooked wildlife, etc.
Perhaps a more relatable example of this is when a friend says something while in a group and you seem to ruminate on it for days afterward. You’re processing all the potential meanings, implications, consequences, etc.
Overstimulation
Overstimulation happens because our nervous systems are more tuned in and reactive to the world around us – whether it’s to f sound, light, textures, energy, emotions, etc. We take in a lot of information and it can become overwhelming at the amount of stimuli our sensitive brains are trying to process at one time. The overwhelm shutdown can be so frustrating – especially when we’re trying to communicate or try something new.
I remember going to a restaurant in December and it was loud and crowded. It was really difficult to enjoy my meal and time with my family because of how overstimulating the environment was. Think about what this may look like for you in regard to your internal and external environments.
Emotional Responsiveness
Emotional Responsiveness can show up in so many ways. Maybe you consider yourself a crier, where you cry whether you’re happy or sad. Or maybe you just have a profound emotional response to art forms such as paintings, photography, movies/tv, music, etc. You respond emotionally AND it may feel really intense or deep.
I remember watching a TV show called POSE last summer and every single episode I was in tears. If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s about queer culture in New York during the late 80’s to mid 90’s, which was the height of the HIV and Aids pandemic. I had never seen the queer community represented in such a familial way and I was constantly moved – seriously, tears both happy and sad – EVERY.EPISODE. Where in your life do you tend to have an emotional reaction where others may not? How you answer this will give you insight into what to keep an eye out for.
Sensitivities to Subtleties
Sensitivities to Subtleties relates to overstimulation but not always. Have you ever walked in a room and could look at each person and guess their mood? This could be your sensitivity to their energy or emotions, OR it could also be noticing the subtleties of their body language or micro-expressions (aka subtle changes in a person’s facial expression).
One way that this shows up for me, and possibly for you too, is the subtleties of my body and how it reacts to stimuli – especially food. When I physically feel off because I ate too much or had too much lactose (I’m lactose intolerant but cheese and ice cream are life!). I may not be doubled over in pain (because I take a lactose pill), but even the slightest discomfort can make everything that much more intense and more difficult to process – I tend to get moody, or snippy, or less patient. Because of how I notice and process these subtle reactions in my body, it leads to overstimulation. Where do you find yourself noticing subtleties as you go about your life?
How does our nervous system react to stimuli?
Imagine your nervous system is web-browser, like on your computer. Now imagine stimuli as tabs, pop-up ads, emails, etc. Eventually your computer is going to get bogged down and struggle with processing all the incoming data at the same time. You got some video playing in a tab you can’t find, while another one is flashing at you for an upcoming lightning sale, all the while you’re getting emails about work, home, sales, etc. It’s a lot to take in.
Your nervous system is similar – it takes in all sensory information that is happening around you. All the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, physical sensations, thoughts, emotions, etc. and is trying to process them. Humans take in a shit load of information at any given time and as you learned, an HSP takes it in and almost magnifies it taking a deeper look (whether consciously or unconsciously).
How can I recognize when my nervous system is in overload?
Most commonly we recognize our nervous system is activated because we feel overwhelmed. We recognize a state of heightened anxiety OR we’ve gone a step further and shut down. Tune into your body body and identify the main emotion you are feeling.
Another easy way to identify whether your nervous system is activated is your survival responses – fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. At any given moment, ask yourself if you want to run away, if you want to fight/defend, if you feel frozen or shut down, or if you just want to give in so you can move on.
What are the benefits of embracing my high sensitivity?
Yes, being a highly sensitive person (HSP) can be overwhelming and it can seem like a curse at times. However, we do have some incredible benefits or superpowers as well. Our sensitivity allows us to see the world in ways that others can’t. We have a heightened sense of empathy for living things – including nature. We have access to incredible intuitive information when we can cut through the noise. Our attention to detail can be off the charts amazing! We’re creative, connected to nature, emotionally intelligent, and have strong introspective skills.
How does High Sensitivity affect our Mental Health?
If we don’t recognize the things that are tied to our sensitivity (i.e. the things I mentioned above), we often make our overwhelm or sensitivities mean that something is wrong with us, or that we’re broken, too much, or not enough. This is where it starts to eat away at our mental health. Eventually, these thoughts about ourselves become beliefs that drive us in our day-to-day lives. And by drive, I mean repeatedly backing up and ramming into a tree or hitting the guardrails on the side of the road.
However, when you know your sensitivities, don’t make them a problem (aka can see how these amazing skills play out in your life), and recognize when you’re projecting onto others (aka wanting others to change), you can then learn to navigate the world and your relationships with more ease. And who doesn’t want that in today’s crazy world?!
I would argue, and I know I’m not alone in this, that your mental health is one of your most important priorities in gaining or maintaining a happy, fulfilling life. Have you ever tried to exercise when your mental health is in the toilet? Yeah, pretty much impossible. Your mental health plays a crucial role in everything you do – how you show up physically, emotionally, socially, etc. Make mental health a priority because when you do, it makes you a priority – which ultimately allows you to prioritize your life and relationships effectively.
So Now What?
If you recognize that your mental health is suffering because of how your thinking about your high sensitivity, it may be time to seek out help from a professional and experienced coach (like myself), or licensed therapist that deals with highly sensitive clients.
In my program, My Sensitive Self, I’ll help you dive deeper into your sensitivity, help you understanding your nervous system and emotions, and mentor you on proven tools to help you reframe your sensitivity as the gift that it truly can be. You can learn more about the My Sensitive Self Program, here.
