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Have you ever had those moments where you’re scrolling on your phone, or doing something else, and then realize you’re buffering from (aka avoiding or procrastinating) doing the actual thing you wanted to do? How often do you notice when this happens?
| Define: BUFFERING |
|---|
| using something external as a way to avoid an emotion. |
The worst is when you recognize this happens but you also see it as an ongoing pattern, and then still can’t get yourself to do the thing you say you were going to do. It could be days, weeks, or even months since you’ve planned to do it, but for whatever reason, it keeps getting pushed to the back– like you’re stuck in a cycle of buffering just spinning your wheels, and it can be frustrating.
It’s like we have a flat tire and then beat ourselves up for not having a spare (even though most cars after 2010 don’t come with one and doesn’t have a place to store one without taking up all the trunk space!) But this is why they invented Triple-A, am I right?
Today, my friends, I want to give you the number to your very own Triple-A service when you find yourself in a buffering rut or with an emotional flat tire.
Triple-A: Awareness, Acceptance, & Application
Triple-A stands for Awareness, Acceptance, and Application. It’s like the rescue team that will help you break through your buffering/avoidance/procrastination habit. When you find yourself stuck, Triple-A can help you get back on the road to doing what you truly desire.
Let’s break it down…
The First ‘A’ – Awareness
unmasking buffering habits
Buffering often stems from indulgent emotions, those common emotions that become our go-to patterns (common emotions like overwhelm, confusion, anxiety, etc.). They may be unpleasant, but they’re somewhat comfortable because they’re familiar. This is where the power of Awareness comes into play.
| Define: INDULGENT EMOTION |
|---|
| emotions we use to distract us from the emotions we need to process in order to take action or move forward. |
When we can catch on to ourselves and recognize which emotions are on repeat, we can then notice the thoughts that are creating the emotion. It’s only then that we can actually do something about it! It’s when we don’t have this awareness that tends to keep us stuck.
Love & Fear
We know that our thoughts create our emotions. And even though having emotional vocabulary is important, today I want to keep things simple. If we boiled down all the different types and intensities of emotion, I would argue we would be left with the essence of two main emotions: LOVE & FEAR.
Which one do you think leads to buffering? Yep, you guessed it, FEAR.
Recognizing Fear-Based Emotions
Now, I encourage you to take a moment and think about the thoughts that trigger your nervous system, creating those common buffering FEAR-based emotions such as:
- I don’t know = confusion
- There’s not enough time = overwhelm
- I can’t do it = doubt
Those are just some common examples, but take a moment and think about what they would be for you and what flavor of fear you commonly feel and the thoughts that create them.
our built-in bodyguard
Why do we sometimes hesitate to take action and engage in buffering behaviors? Often, it’s because our subconscious and primitive brains are working behind the scenes to protect us–trying to keep us alive and safe. They are our bodyguards. This is why familiar thoughts and feelings are more comfortable, even if they are unpleasant–because they are known to us which makes them “less threatening”.
The Second ‘A’ – Acceptance
Where did these repetetive thoughts come from?
It’s kind of like ‘stranger danger,’ which leads us to our second ‘A’ – Acceptance. When we talk about buffering, it’s important to realize that many of the thoughts or beliefs that have been on repeat for years and lead to our buffering have been handed to us by other people – parents, teachers, society, etc.
The phrase ‘stranger danger’ was created from a place of fear, even though it came from good intent; however, it’s been argued that it has caused society to become less empathetic towards one another. Whether this is true or not doesn’t matter, but I share this as an example of a belief that was handed to us that may not be entirely true to who we are at our core (although for some of us, it might).
embracing emotional adulthood
When we have an awareness of our indulgent thoughts and emotions, and recognize whether they were handed to us rather than coming from us, we can gain acceptance. Acceptance is the key to stepping into emotional adulthood – meaning we can fully own our thoughts, feelings, actions, and results, including buffering and lack of desired results!
| Define: EMOTIONAL ADULTHOOD |
|---|
| the ability to own the realities of everytyhing in your life–thoughts, feelings, actions, and results or outcomes. |
Acceptance doesn’t mean we have to love or agree with these thoughts and beliefs, but it’s about acknowledging that they exist and that we have the power to make choices about whether they serve us or not. It’s the opposite of blaming and instead requires us to take ownership but in a non-judgmental way where we don’t weaponize a situation against ourselves.
thinking intentionally
This is where I would encourage you to look at some of the thoughts and emotions you identified earlier and question whether they came from you or someone else AND how you want to intentionally decide to handle them when you recognize them coming up.
Once we’ve gained awareness and embraced acceptance, it’s time to put it all into action. This is where the third ‘A’ comes into play – Application.
The Third ‘A’ – Application
putting it into practice
To break through our buffering habits, we need repeated application of our intentional thoughts–which requires the repetition of the whole Triple-A process.
When you build awareness around your thoughts and emotions, accept what’s yours vs. what you’ve been handed and taken on, and lean into your intentional thoughts and emotions, it’s a process of positive change and transformation.
The power of repetition
The secret sauce – repetition and experimentation. Just like learning any new skill, it takes practice. You may find that some strategies work better for you than others, and that’s perfectly fine. The key is to keep experimenting and fine-tuning until you find what truly works for you.
The Triple-A Rescue for Buffering
As we wrap up our journey through buffering and the Triple-A concept, remember this: when you’re in a buffering rut, you now have your very own Triple A service – Awareness, Acceptance, and Application – to help guide you out of it.
- Awareness – this is noticing what thoughts trigger your nervous system and create your common buffering FEAR-based emotions (confusion, overwhelm, doubt, etc.)
- Acceptance – accepting that many of our beliefs were handed to us and that they may not fit who we really are and owning that (emotional adulthood)
- Application – Apply the tools that allow you to build awareness, accept what’s yours vs not yours, and lean into your intentional thoughts and emotions. Repeat and experiment over and over again.
If you find yourself procrastinating, buffering, and avoiding and need help learning how to untangle yourself from the harmful thoughts and beliefs you have been taught and taken on (consciously or subconsciously), come work with me inside the My Sensitive Self Program where I’ll teach, guide, and support you on your journey to reduce your overthinking that leads to buffering habits so you can start to do more of what you actually want to be doing.
Discover Your SECRET STRENGTH as a Sensitive Soul!
Take the ‘Elemental Energy Type’ quiz.
You’ll learn what your natural intuitive gifts are and exactly what to do to regain BALANCE when you feel stuck in the ruts of overthinking, doubt, frustration, overwhelm, etc., you just can’t think your way out of.
Ok, that quiz! OMG OMG! I went in curious and bemused and came out as a BELIEVER. lol. I sent a couple of folks over to take it and they were amazed too! I don’t know how you created that thing, but it was GOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD. So FUN!
G.N.
OMG! Everything was right on! How did you do this? I felt you knew my soul. It’s soooo good!!!! 🧡🤩
S.P.