I need to make a public confession…

I’m not who you think I am.

I’m not Mr. Positive all the time.

I’m not always as excited or engaged as I show in my videos.

I’m quiet and contemplative.

I live in my head most of the time.

I prioritize myself over others.

I spend a lot of my “free time” watching tv and playing on my phone.

I am a recovering perfectionist, people-pleaser, and negative thinker.

If I were to write this a few years ago, I would feel overwhelmingly shameful…

…and I would indulge in my depression and anxiety and binge tv and food to avoid feeling the shame, and guilt, and “not good enough-ness.”

After the thought work I’ve been doing for years, some people would expect my life to look completely diffrent–always happy, lose weight, being social and talkative, taking on massive challenges like running a marathon or something.

I don’t pay those people any mind. You know why?

Because I’m the one living my life, not them.

When I say coaching has transformed my life, I’m not kidding or lying.

I have changed and transformed.

As I wrote those first several sentences, I didn’t feel shame or guilt, or any negative emotion at all.

Here’s what I’ve learned through my several years of coaching and working on myself:

  • Watching tv and eating food can be used to buffer from feeling negative emotion; BUT it can also be used for pleasure because I do actually enjoy it.
  • I’m not lazy, I just have different priorities than some.
  • Even though I’m quiet and in my head, my voice and story have power.
  • 100% happiness isn’t the goal nor is it a realistic expectation (aka negative thoughts won’t ever go away completely).
  • Learning to feel, experience, and process a negative emotion vs resisting it, actually makes life easier and more enjoyable. If you are putting a cap on feeling negative emotion, it’s affecting your ability to feel positive emotions deeply as well.
  • There are no rules. Seriously, who made up the expectation checklist of how a person should think/feel/act/etc.? We get to make our own rules. We also can give ourselves permission to break rules that others try to place upon us. We always have the ability to choose, so therefore we always have options.
  • The only thing perfectionism really does is keep you perfectly stuck where you are.
  • Authentic self-confidence doesn’t mean you’re confident all the time. It means you accept yourself and are more curious about self-judgmental thoughts vs flogging yourself.

I feel as if I could go on and on and on with this list.

I publicly confess that I’m imperfect.

I also publicly confess that no matter what happens in my life, I can feel any emotion and have my own back.

What does that mean exactly?

It means that I believe in myself and my ability to work through anything and come out on the other side.

Being confident doesn’t have to look a certain way. It’s just being who you are.

If you’ve been waiting for permission to believe in yourself, take this as a sign to give yourself that permission.

Give yourself permission to enjoy life.

Give yourself permission to feel painful emotions.

Give yourself permission to be kind and offer yourself grace.

If this message ressonnated with you, I urge you to leave a comment with a public confession and share all of this with someone you love and respect.

“CHANGE HOW YOU SHOW UP IN THE WORLD, THEN GO OUT AND CHANGE THE WORLD!”

— Cameron Nichols

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Halloween and the Masks We Wear

Happy Halloween, my beautiful friends!

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays of the year.

I LOVE all things spooky and have been binging horror tv, movies, and podcasts this season.

My husband shared a podcast recently called Throughline produced by NPR that did an episode on the origins of Halloween.

As we listened, I knew a lot of the information provided (because like I said, it’s my fav). However, there was one tidbit of info I wasn’t aware of…

The LGBTQ+ community helped Halloween become mainstream.

Why did the LGBTQ+ community adopt Halloween as their non-official holiday? (Halloween = “Gay Christmas”)

Because it was the one night a year you could be anything you wanted without judgment.

(Fun Fact: you can thank Elvira Mistress of Darkness for introducing “slutty (I don’t mean this derogatorily) costumes“)

Halloween became the one night a year where everyone wore masks.

If you’ve ever felt like an outsider or that you have to mask parts of yourself to fit in in society, you can imagine how liberating it must have felt!

We all wear masks to hide parts of ourselves.

This is something we do just because we are human.

There is a part of the brain, called the amygdalae, that houses our survival instincts (fight/flight/freeze).

It is also responsible for survival motivation–we in the biz like to call this, the motivational triad.

Essentially this means, this part of the brain has three main functions:

  • Avoid Pain
  • Seek Pleasure
  • Be Efficient/Conserve Energy

We naturally fear the judgment of others (aka avoid pain) because back in our primal days, if we were cast out of the tribe, it meant death.

Alone, you couldn’t survive. You needed the tribe’s knowledge and help with hunting and gathering, and defending against predators.

Talk about peer pressure!!

Even though we no longer have the same concerns that our primal ancestors had, this part of the brain hasn’t evolved past that.

Because of this, we put on masks to try and protect ourselves and fit in.

How would your life be different if you didn’t wear a mask around others?

If you could accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all, set appropriate boundaries, and just live freely, how would you think differently about yourself and the world? How would you feel? How would you act?

Seriously, close your eyes and take a few minutes to visualize this.

What adventures would you go on? What would you try if you weren’t afraid of how you would be perceived if you failed?

This time of year is traditionally known as the time to harvest, prep for winter, and death/rest.

But I like to look at this time of year as a time to reflect on growth from the past year AND dream of the possibility of my future.

One of the best gifts you can give yourself is the ability to learn how to be comfortable in your own skin and mind and dream of possibilities.

What mask(s) are you ready to shed and who are you ready to become?

I thank our LGBTQ+ predecessors for their willingness to live authentically and turn wearing masks to hide on its head.


If this is an area of your life that you want to work on, I would be honored to work with you on it. This is the main area of my coaching practice because I’ve been through this journey and come out on the other side. Book your free consultation here.

“CHANGE HOW YOU SHOW UP IN THE WORLD, THEN GO OUT AND CHANGE THE WORLD!”

— Cameron Nichols

What do freezing temps and introverts have in common?

This past week in Utah has been COLD.

It got down to freezing temperature.

What do people who are cold do?

Put on a ton of layers, wrap themselves tight in the warmest blanket they can find, and get into their comfort zone.

From a psychological level, all humans gravitate towards our comfort zones.

Why?

Well, there is a part of your brain that has three sole functions:
1. Avoid Pain/Discomfort
2. Seek Pleasure
3. Conserve Energy/Be Efficient

So when it’s cold or we are in any kind of physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual discomfort, our brain guides us to find comfort; which we find pleasurable (or at least more so than discomfort), and conserves energy by being efficient and doing the easiest thing possible.

This is why we tend to stay within our comfort zones.

If you have a human brain, you do this. However, a lot of introverts do this on a hyper level.

There are a ton of different kinds of introverts with different personality traits and different ways of processing. However, a lot of introverts tend to process thoughts and emotions internally vs externally. Again, not all, but a lot.

As an internal processing introvert, I wrap myself up in layers and layers of comfort zone. Can you relate?

There is a time and place for this, for sure.

However, this can also be to our detriment.

We stop trying new things. We stop connecting with people. We stop exploring everything the world has to offer us.

Here is my challenge to you: Consciously choose to take a step outside your comfort zone every day. It doesn’t need to be big, but it should feel different and slightly uncomfortable. By doing this, you’re stepping into your growth zone–and this is where MAGIC HAPPENS!


If you want support in expanding your comfort and growth zones with less self-judgment and doubt, schedule your free session with me and let’s start on this exciting journey of learning to love, trust, and value yourself while also stretching yourself in a world geared towards extroverts.

What Is Your Insecurity Stopping You From Doing?

As we grow up, as humans do, we unconsciously take on thoughts and beliefs that others offer up to us.

When we were bullied, abused, neglected, told we’re different…we unconsciously made those things mean something about ourselves.

We unknowingly create insecurities for ourselves that sounds like:
● “I’m not good enough”
● “I can’t do that”
● “I’m not normal”
● “They know more than I do”
● “I don’t know what I’m doing”
● “Nobody cares about me”
● Etc.

Then those thoughts repeat in our minds for 20, 30, 40+ years…each time making those beliefs stronger.

Then one day something happens…a major life event/epiphany/etc., and we realize these insecurities have become our own mental prison (which we usually then beat ourselves up for…you know, because we “should have” realized it sooner).

We wake up to find life is passing us by and we’ve been so afraid but can now see how our insecurities have held us back from:
● going after that promotion
● making friends and/or meaningful relationships
● going after our dream job
● building the life we truly want for ourselves
● speaking up and stating our opinion
● etc.

What have your insecurities stopped you from doing?

What have they stopped you from being or becoming?

You are so much more capable than you realize.

You already have everything you need to succeed within you already…

…you just may need some help accessing it.

This is where I come in.

There has always been negativity in the world and negative feelings, but we don’t have to add more of it onto ourselves.

Life coaching has changed and continues to change my life.

Answer the questions I posed above and start focusing your mind on possibility–who you want to be and what you want to create.

You’re one step away from changing your entire life.

I need your help and want your insight…

First of all, THANK YOU for taking the time to read my content. I genuinely hope you find it useful, informative, thought provoking, and helps you see that you are not alone in this journey we call life.

Second, I have some open spots in my practice and am taking on new clients. If you’re an introvert who recognizes that your self-judgement, doubt, and insecurity are keeping you from building relationships/getting that promotion/meeting new people/going after your dream or passion/feeling loveable and worthy/enjoying your homebody lifestyle, I want to talk to you. We live in a world geared towards extroverts and we take on programming that something is wrong with us because we don’t function like “normal people.” I can help. If you don’t fall into this category, please forward this post or any of my free resources (including social media) to them.

I’m gearing up for 2022 and will only be taking on a total of 20 clients MAX. My program is 10 months where we meet weekly to help you overcome any/all of the following so you can live your best introverted life in an extroverted world:

  • Imposter syndrome
  • Social Anxiety
  • Fear of judgement and/or failure
  • Overthinking
  • Managing others’ expectations and/or emotions
  • Fear or disappointing others
  • Having a ton of goals, but never accomplishing any of them
  • Not living up to your own standards
  • Comparing yourself to others
  • Feeling unfulfilled or purposeless
  • FOMO
  • Feeling like you’re always a step behind
  • Perfectionism
  • People Pleasing
  • Thinking other people know better
  • Need for external validation or permission
  • Feeling like a bad friend because you don’t stay in touch
  • Fear of stating your own opinions or needs because it could potentially cause conflict
  • Overwhelm (aka decision fatigue)
  • Etc.

Third, I would LOVE your insight into when you or those you know/love prefer to receive/read posts/emails like these. My goal is help you make your life easier and timing can be crucial. If you’re willing, please answer the two questions below so I can help get you info/insight when it’s best for you:

THANK YOU!!!

Listening to Yourself

Some say people who talk to themselves are crazy. I completely disagree. I think people who talk to themselves are smart. Why? Because this is how you get the opportunity to challenge unhelpful beliefs.

I’m not a huge fan of social media. It takes away time with the endless scroll. I love seeing what people are up to, but most of the time I’m so locked into the scroll of “what’s next” I don’t interact much. And I find myself having less and less desire to post.

But those who know about starting a business, social media networking can be a HUGE component to business strategy in providing value to customers ahead of time. For the last few weeks, I’ve been torn between two opposing concepts—being authentic and doing something even though it doesn’t feel good. I’m a fan of both those concepts, but it led me into a lot of decision fatigue.

I decided to bring the situation to one of my coaches to get coaching. The conversation led me to a few A-HA! moments:
(1) The path looks different for everyone (aka there really isn’t a right way to do something vs a wrong way);
(2) My focus needs to come back to my strengths;
(3) It’s not only important to talk to yourself but take the time to listen;
(4) I’m already doing a lot of things besides social media;
(5) I stopped trusting myself.

Because my focus was on finding the “right way” and how that went against my strengths, I wasn’t open to really listening to my own inner wisdom. Social Media isn’t my only platform to provide value to people—I have my podcast, this blog, one-on-one conversations, group meetups and coffee dates. Sure, there are things I can tweak to make better and ultimately create a bigger impact, but that doesn’t mean all of that work and connection has gone to waste.

After the coaching session, I sat and just listened at the thoughts running through my head. It was amazing to me how much more open my mind was to ideas and solutions. My self-talk became more positive, and I felt a spark reignite within myself as I remembered that I really can trust myself.

The next time you’re having a hard time making a decision or feel torn, I invite you to write out the thoughts going through your mind to get them out, and then taking a few minutes to listen—whether you believe it’s your higher self, Universe, or God(s) of your choosing—just listen. Listen with an open heart and see what thoughts start to run through your mind. Look for trends or patterns as they can give you even more insight as single thoughts turn into ideas, ideas turn into beliefs, and beliefs turn into results.

Do this without asking other people for their opinions or thoughts. Learn to trust yourself before you get results (this is what keeps you going), so that when you do get the desired result it’s just more evidence of that self-trust. It all starts with listening to yourself.