A few weeks ago, I mentioned I was in the middle of an experiment.
The time has come to fill you all in on what it was and what the results show.
At the beginning of April, I deliberately blew up my comfort zone. As an introvert, homebody, and highly sensitive person (HSP), my comfort zone for years has been isolation. When I started getting into coaching, I recognized this and have slowly been making progress to expand my comfort zone.
For the last two months, I have set out on a mission to find more ways to socialize…but on my terms.
I thrive in one-on-one and small group environments/conversations. Knowing this, I joined a social app and started chatting with people (yep, I did this so I could not leave the house and still have all my luxuriating time).
After a couple weeks of chatting with people, my calendar filled quickly as we started making plans to meet. When I say my calendar filled quickly, I mean all of May and into the first week of June was booked (seriously, EVERY.SINGLE.DAY). I was trying to meet a TON of people in this experiment.
- Strengthening of relationship
- Many new friends and lots of potential for genuine deep connections
- New adventures and explorations (hobbies, locations, personality types, etc.)
- Genuine excitement to meet and talk with people
- Social fatigue–especially post COVID where we’ve basically been sitting in social atrophy–can be exhausting
- Insecurity, embarrassment, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, people-pleasing, etc. still exist and can be strong no matter how much “thought work” you do around them (because emotions are NOT A PROBLEM!)
- When making plans, I was strategic, intentional, and deliberate. I asserted myself to take control of my own comfort so I could be in my growth zone vs my panic zone (see image below)
- Stayed out late, didn’t get enough sleep, ate out more, constantly moving from work > plans > bed > repeat, no tv or rest time
- Even though I was intentional in creating plans and doing them on my own terms, I lost sight of balance and taking care of my own needs
- I don’t need to prove myself to anyone in any way–including myself
- Life is all about phases–and the concept of flowing in and between phases is crucial to mastering emotional wellbeing and psychological safety
- Life truly changes from the inside out
- Identity creation is really just remembering who you are and what you’re capable of
- There are kind and genuine people EVERYWHERE
- You have to have an awareness of your wants and needs and give them to yourself first and/or seek them out intentionally–people really can’t read minds
- Just because societal programming says socialization looks a certain way (or anything really), it’s BS! Find your own way because it’s the only way it will actually work for YOU. Do your life on your own terms.
- Intentionally discover and test your limits
- Emotions are never a problem until we make them a problem (e.g. “I shouldn’t/don’t want to feel this way.”)
- You don’t need to be anything else but you. But you have to know who you are.
Your assignment, if you choose to accept it
Evaluate the limits of your comfort zone.
What does it feel like in your body (energetic and physical sensations) when you’re in the comfort zone, growth zone, and panic zone?
What is one area of your life you want to find or test your limit?
How can you find/test your limit in a way that still feels good to you?
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