I’m human.

[GASP] I know, it’s embarrassing to even say it.

The last few weeks, my brain has been screaming, “I DON’T WANT TO!”

Exercise, eating healthy, posting on social media, sleeping, even just playing on my phone. “I DON’T WANT TO! I DON’T WANT TO! I DON’T WANT TO!” Yes, my brain threw a total temper tantrum like a toddler. (it’s doing it now even as I type this)

Then I start to do the old song and dance: “I know better. This is what I coach my clients on. Why do I do this to myself? I’m slipping backward. I shouldn’t feel the way I do. No one else could possibly understand me. I f*cking suck.” Etc.

It all feels so true, but even I know deep down, it’s bullshit.

I decided to take these thoughts and emotions to my own coach to help me sort things out. You know what she said to me?

“It sounds like you need to do your own meditation. I’ve used it myself, and with my other clients and that shit works!”

And she was absolutely right! I didn’t want to admit it, but I had been resisting emotions because they just felt icky and low vibration.

Emotions

No one enjoys feeling negative emotions. But the reality is they exist and we will feel them–even when we try not to.

Here’s the thing about emotions–they feel the same no matter what age you are. The disappointment or anger [insert chosen emotion here] you felt when you were five, feels the same at 15, and even 45, 65, and beyond.

Because the emotions feel the same, it can be so easy to believe the thoughts our primitive brain offers to us (e.g. “I haven’t progressed as far as I thought”).

But remember, emotions can’t hurt us. They are just a vibration in our bodies.

I like to think of feeling emotions like a pool of cold water–you dip your toe in, it feels freezing, and you decide to wait for it to warm up so you just stand in the cold air instead.

However, if you were to just jump in, your body would acclimate to the temperature. It’s not usually as bad as we make it out to be.

We reduce our suffering when we jump in and are willing to feel the intensity of it for a moment; rather than dragging it out (like papercut torture!).

Letting things feel sh*tty and showing up anyway

I felt like shit but had the majority of the week ahead of me–recording podcasts, coaching with clients, consult call, putting together a business proposal, networking meeting, and a coach luncheon.

All of the things on my calendar were good things. I wanted to do them. But I also didn’t want to do them. I was tired, my brain kept throwing tantrums, and I just wanted time to freeze. You ever been there?

Even though there were some days I really didn’t want to get out of bed, let alone interact with other humans, I still showed up. I did the best work I was capable of in those moments. And it was still good work.

This isn’t the first time this kind of thing has happened to me. It cycles.

Prior to coaching, I called in sick to work, I cancelled plans, and sometimes even stayed in bed.

But as I utilize my coaching tools, coach myself, and get coaching from others, I asonish myself sometimes at what I can still accomplish while feeling like mental and emotional garbage.

The irony of my week was getting a slew of coaching session compliments. I wanted to relish in them, but because I had been avoiding the negative emotions, guess what? I was numbed to positive emotions as well.
(Check out my past blog on the 50/50 concept to learn more about how this is even possible)

Moral of the story

Even if you feel like your mind and emotions seem like garbage (self-doubt, judgment, tantrums, etc.), don’t let it stop you from showing up and doing the best you can.

Don’t resist emotions because they don’t feel good. Feel them. Process them. This is how you can show up and astonish yourself. If you haven’t already, download the FREE guided meditation below to help learn how to do this.

Show up for yourself so you can show up for others.