How I Ruined My Vacation…

Watch til the end 😆

I’ve been pretty quiet over the last month, doing a lot of self-work and discovery with one of my coaches.

It’s really been the journey of 2022 so far–question everything, deconditioning from everything you’ve been taught, evaluate joy and where energy naturally comes from, etc. (e.g. slow down so you can speed up).

It’s all been an add-on to all the work I’ve already done and will always continue to do.

But as you can imagine, when you are questioning and evaluating all aspects of your life externally as well as internally, if not managed well can lead to burnout.

So what does one do when they feel burnt out? Rest? Relax? Take a vacation?

I tried all three and failed MISERABLY!

A couple months ago, one of my coaches asked me when the last time I took two days off in a row….

It’s not a hard question, but I had to really think about it. The answer? OCTOBER!

I talked my hubby into taking a trip to Brookings, OR where we hope to move to in the next year or so.

Brookings is on the OR coast right after the California border. It’s a small coastal/mountain town–way smaller than the Salt Lake City area.

We ended up spending half the time just walking along or sitting on the beach watching the ocean (one of our absolute favorite things we enjoy doing together), and the other half looking at land and real estate for purchase.

When I dive deep into my core work, I oftentimes feel uncomfortable, miserable, depressed, anxious, etc. It’s not necessarily a pleasant experience even though it does feel like it’s the right thing to do.

When I tend to be in a miserable state, I feel unbalanced and I want to buffer and distract myself–it basically comes out as obsession. First, it was an obsession with the new paint color in my office. But when we got to OR it came out as WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE THIS MOVE NOW! We need to figure out the land situation, and it must have an ocean view. Which means we need to figure out the financials and how to sell our current house. And since we’re buying land, I need to find the PERFECT floor plans so we can buy the plans and build.

I spent half of my vacation stressed and obsessed.

It was physically, emotionally, and mentally painful to drive back home to SLC. Part of that pain was realizing the time I wasted stressing and obsessing thinking that we needed to figure out all the answers RIGHT NOW. (which is the opposite of helpful when dealing with burnout 😆). The other part is just driving away from the ocean 🌊

In today’s world of deadlines, obligations, and commitments it can be easy to fall prey to the RIGHT NOW mentality. Life seems to move fast and FOMO (fear of missing out) is real. And because we play into this mindset, we end up taking ourselves out of the present moment/experience and miss out on the things we fear missing out on. (sound f*cked up? Yeah, I know.)

The lesson learned I wanted to share with you is slowing down is uncomfortable and can absolutely be miserable. It goes against everything we’ve been taught–if we take enough action and continue to push, then we’ll be worthy and get the reward or result we want. (I want to say quickly, but it’s never quick enough for me) I’m learning that by constantly pushing myself, I’m robbing myself of the life I want to live, the kind of person I want to be, and brilliance and wisdom that I want to share.

This saying is a cliche for a reason: Follow your joy/happiness/energy. This doesn’t mean it will feel good all the time, but it will lead you down the path of how you really want to show-up in the world.

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