The screaming inside yourself doesn’t always feel or sound like screaming at all.
Sometimes it’s a quiet and subtle unsettled feeling.
Other times it’s a full on tortured soul scream from the depths of Hades’ lair.
The agony we feel means we are out of alignment with ourselves.
It doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong. It just means there is a part of you that needs you to pay attention.
If you’re like most humans (myself included), we will do almost anything to try and get away from that unsettled feeling.
(Well, anything except for the one thing that actually helps it move along on its merry way.)
Instead of running, try listening to it.
The last couple weeks have been filled with high highs and low lows. This isn’t new for me though–I’m a messy and emotional being afterall.
In the low moments, I felt unsettled. I noticed old self-talk returning to my brain:
“You don’t know what to say.”
“You can’t offer people any value.”
“I guess you haven’t made any progress.”
“Things will never work out the way you want.”
Some days these thoughts were blaring in my mind. Others, they were insidious haters in the back row.
What did I do about it?
I reminded myself of the evidence I had that contradicted those thoughts.
I numbed out with food/tv/phone.
I got tons of coaching.
I tried feeling and processing the emotion in my body (which worked for a short time, as designed, by using my free guided meditation).
After doing the short meditation, my mind was clear enough (notice how I didn’t say “completely clear?” 😉) to ‘wake up’ in a sense.
I wasn’t listening to myself–I was trying to shut myself up.
3 Steps to get out of the Funk
When I realized I wasn’t listening to myself, I decided to go back to my alignment basics and did the following 3 things:
1. Practice Mindfulness
It involved all the things I normally use to numb out (food/tv/phone), but this time I decided to hyper intentional and present. I dove into the tv character’s perspective; I tasted each bite of food. This helped me ground myself and take pleasure in the small things I was previously taking advantage of.
2. Create with Intention
I still had clients to coach and classes to teach so I went into creation mode. I wrote lyrics, sang songs, created digital art, created questions for a class, and put together a presentation for Fu⊄k the Formula.
It doesn’t really matter what you create, as long as you are doing it with intention and it’s something that can trigger joy. Maybe it’s art, or creative writing, or playing with clay, or even cooking a meal. The idea is to do something you enjoy (even if it doesn’t sound enjoyable at the moment) and create something tangible.
This next part is the part that you will HATE because it’s the hardest step.
3. Find the Message
Easier said than done. But when an emotion takes over and you make it mean something about you or your progress, things start to spiral. However, when you can recognize that the emotion is there, and listen to what it has to give to you, clarity will come. It becomes a stepping stool, not a slide.
For me, the message was about creating space for myself to exist without judgment. I was projecting some judgments onto others that were really about myself. Even though I know they do have some of the judgments I thought of, I wasn’t giving them (or myself) grace and patience.
Here’s a challenge, if you dare…
I want to challenge you to figure out your own 3-step alignment basics system.
- What are the things that feel good to you that you can practice mindfulness with?
- What are the things that bring you joy when you create them?
- How can you create space for yourself to tune in and listen so you can find the message?
If you want more happiness and fulfillment in your life, you need to figure out and continually review/adjust the things in your life to create alignment.
Alignment doesn’t always feel ‘good,’ but it does feel grounded and ‘right’ for you.
If any of this resonates with you, I want to invite you join the waitlist for Fu⊄k the Formula: 6 Weeks of Discovery, Deconditioning, & Design.
This program is where I guide you through the process for you to:
- Identify the social conditioning that takes you out of alignment;
- Decondition those beliefs that you took on from others;
- and Create your genuine and authentic internal filter so you can design and live your life from a place of alignment.